You’ve worked at the same company for over a decade but the boss doesn’t even acknowledge your presence? You’ve submitted one job application after another but the market doesn’t seem to be interested in what you can offer? You’ve been trying so hard to start your own business but there is too much to do and you have no clue where to begin?
These are just examples of painful situations that you have faced or may face in life. When you feel angry, disappointed or annoyed at anyone or anything, tension builds inside of you, and you find yourself feeling down and dispirited. In short, you feel completely frustrated.
Work is frustrating. Life is frustrating. Especially when we have high expectations for ourselves, our business and those around us. But feeling this way is just the start – the real danger is in what comes next. There are three usual outcomes from feeling frustrated – anger, sadness and apathy.
But before being overwhelmed by the feeling, first of all, you need to stay perfectly calm and accept the fact that frustrations are common. Whether you’re a successful entrepreneur, a big boss or an employee; frustrations can occur at any time and place, to just about anybody. Rather than feeling depressed or even sorry for yourself, you need to take charge of the situation. You need to deal with the frustrations in the best possible manner. That way, you’re able to manage the disappointments that come your way.
SUCCESSFUL LEADERS TRANSFORM FRUSTRATIONS INTO OPPORTUNITIES
Sir Richard Branson, self-made billionaire and founder of Virgin Group, is notorious for his unique and unconventional methods in everything that he pursues. He is well known for saying: “Finding something frustrating and seeing an opportunity to make it better is what entrepreneurship is all about.” Such a simple, yet radically profound statement with a lot of truth in it.
Most of the great innovations were simply the direct result of being frustrated. For example, Uber was born out of frustration of two Silicon Valley entrepreneurs (Travis Kalanick and Garrett Camp) trying to get a taxi in Paris in the midst of bad weather. Another case in point is TransferWise. Frustrated with the excessive hidden bank fees for cross-border money transfers, Kristo Käärmann and Taavet Hinrikus, the founders of TransferWise felt that there has to be an easier and cheaper way to send money abroad. This was the primary motivation that inspired them to launch TransferWise in 2011. In all these cases, overwhelming frustration was the driving force behind their innovative ideas.
MANAGING FRUSTRATION
How do you deal with frustrations? When it comes to managing your frustrations, it’s absolutely critical that you stay positive and proactive throughout this process. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself as it will prevent you from seeing things clearly and making the most use of your time and resources. Start by taking a deep breath, recite a prayer, and keep a clear mind. By doing so, you’ll be able to lift up half the burden off your shoulders, and become more focused to deal with the subject matter in hand.
At this stage it is crucial to avoid any negative thoughts. Look at the bright side of things. A challenge has now come your way, and you need to stay motivated in order to come out with possible solutions towards ensuring a desirable outcome. This you need to do without placing too much mental load upon yourself. You’ll need to constantly assess whether the solution is actually working or in fact placing more burden on you. If it is the latter, don’t remain in the same spot. Move on and away from the negative energy surrounding you and start thinking of other solutions.
In the process of doing so, you can also reach out to people whom you think are able to provide you with some ideas. But you should not transfer any burden to them or ‘force’ them to resolve your frustrations for you, because if you do so, and if the outcome is subsequently undesirable, then the feeling of frustration will elevate unnecessarily. Remember, too much ‘noise’ is also bad for you. It will make you feel vulnerable and lose your focus on the more important things. The challenge is for you to deal with what has been frustrating you in the first place.
HOW TO HANDLE FRUSTRATIONS
It’s remarkably easy to feel frustrated. Things aren’t always so smooth and easy flowing. At times clouds get darker, and storms head your way, but the air always feels fresh and crisp after a downpour. What does this teach us? Deal with the stormy frustrations in your life – whether in a personal or professional context – and share your inspiring stories with others.
ISFIRE SPOKE TO A FEW INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS ON HOW THEY DEALT WITH FRUSTRATIONS AND FAILURE TO MOVE TOWARD SUCCESS. THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY…
TAMER K ISMAIL
Deputy Head of Compliance,
National Bank of Greece
Frustration is a common emotional response to the feeling of being upset or annoyed and disappointed because you are unable to change or achieve what you want. “Goals and Dreams as example”.
There’s one thing you should know that most of us went through a point of frustration even famous celebrities, but as a matter of fact they didn’t give up on their dreams, so how can you learn from them and from the experience of others in general.
Life’s not about expecting, hoping & wishing, it’s about doing, being & becoming. It’s about the choices you’ve just made and the ones you’re about to make. It’s about the things you choose to say today. It’s about what you’re going to do after you finish reading this. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own who’ll decide where to go… Nobody, has any idea how difficult it is to walk in your shoes.
When you feel frustrated you have to focus on yourself. You need to re-evaluate and focus your attention on being happy with what you already have. Focus on what you want to happen and manage your expectations. Set short, medium and long-term goal and start on the nearest objective for one of your dearest goals. Coping with frustration is all about recognizing the sources that trigger the feeling and using the proper techniques to choose a different emotional response. Even the strongest person has a breaking point, so the best to be done is to help yourself first by not giving up. Only goodness backed by power and strength can accomplish anything. Basically, the soul is the ultimate g-spot for happiness.
You only get one soul, so please be good to yours. Take it for long walks in nature. Listen to music. Do things which you’re passionate about. Spend time with people you love, who also love you. Happiness comes from within. It is very common in these days a lot of people in their search for happiness, search for it not within themselves but in other people and in material things. Many
of them assume that things such as a good job, more money, better relationships and others will give them the happiness that they are searching for, but in reality if we want to live a happy life, you need to work on your happiness every day.
Every day, you should take account of the things that make you happy and enjoy them. Put yourself first always, celebrate the small victories, get out and live life to the fullest. You need to keep in your mind that you can be in charge of your thoughts even if sometimes you can find it difficult and that a Positive thinking can help you to create your happiness.
Your thoughts are a consequence of your reactions to various events that can happen in your life. It’s how you react to problems, that create your state of mind, therefore you need to have a good attitude in life keeping in mind that the problems you are facing now is like sea waves sometimes times are quiet and the others are high, don’t swim opposite to it as you may sink you just sometimes need to bend until it pass.
A famous quote saying… “Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.”
Never forget, it’s your choice to “scream or enjoy the ride.” So get those HANDS IN THE AIR, SMILE, and ENJOY THE RIDE and don’t surrender to frustrations.
ABDULLAH HARON
Senior Financial Expert,
International Monetary Fund
In any argument, it is not about being right but all about winning. The impossibility of getting others to understand my point of view, or, at the very least, to listen sometimes become frustrated and angry. One solution is to simply not argue. Just because I presented the absolute facts about a situation and was right about it, does not mean I can get the message across. The argument just goes around and around with no one winning, except that, if I lose the argument, I will probably go away feeling angry and, maybe, stupid. So, I just let it go as it’s not worth the stress.
KHALID AWANG
Founder,
ProfitsPortfolio
We all have our fair share of being in situations that are sometimes beyond our control. Seated in a plane next to someone who obliviously occupied our space for example, or caught in a traffic jam on the way to our important appointment, or found our white linen washed together with the coloured laundry… often left us feeling frustrated. It is only human to be emotionally affected by life’s episodes, and acknowledging that will help us deal with our emotions more effectively. So, whether we sing a lively tune after taking several deep breaths or work it off at the gym or just have a cup of chamomile tea, we have actually taken back control which we could have otherwise lost.
MOHAMAD NASIR
Executive Leader Consultant & Coach,
Aspire Business
During our daily interactions, we face daunting situations in our financial, employment and personal endeavours. With these difficulties, we face frustrations that may lead us to quit, stop producing, or worst of all become a source of negative emotions towards our associates and loved ones. A Narration by Abu Huraira: A man said to the Prophet peace be upon him, “Advise me! “The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious.”
What can we do to control our frustration? We should always keep in mind the situation, the cause of the frustration in perspective. Sometimes, our frustrations are noticeable immediately and at times we build the frustration inside of us and the negativity hurts those around us and our loved ones.
After we attempt to keep our emotions in perspective, we should seek out a friend or colleague who is a neutral party from the situation and seek his or her advice and perspective. And finally, we should focus on improving the situation. If the frustration is from our boss, then you should seek a meeting with the intention of going over the issues you are facing in hope of resolving them. At no time should you lose the ability to communicate and articulate your feelings with honesty and respect, with the ultimate goal of improving the relationship. Controlling our emotions often involves training and pre-planning. Just like a great athlete, train and plan ahead.
TAYYABA N. AHSAN
Head of Strategic Alliances,
Finocracy
Frustration comes easily – be it in personal or professional life. For many, frustration often results from undesirable outcomes, which tends to have a discouraging effect that magnifies people’s weaknesses in themselves. For me, it is simply the confidence that I lose in myself by choice. Once caught in its whirl, it is difficult to break through. So stop right there. Rather than getting caught in small obstacles, focus on the bigger picture, your vision and the goals that you ultimately aim to achieve. Take it from there, build up on your strengths. Understand what triggers you instead of reacting. Work on your ability to manage a failure just like you do your success.
DRS DAAN ELFFERS
Cambridge IFLP Alumni and Keynote Speaker
and Mentor, STARTUP Saudi Arabia 2018
No matter how hard we work and how well we prepare, there will always be some things we cannot control. What we can control, however, is our attitude towards a situation and our reactions to it. Everything depends on our perspective. The much more interesting question to ask is whether there is some hidden value to be derived from what we are faced with and whether we can effectively respond to it. All great business ideas start with the challenge of creating value and discovering that things can be done in a better way may well inspire greater innovation!
RAHEEL IQBAL
Managing Director,
HIRC International Ltd
Dealing with frustration is an art form. It requires years of skill and finesse. Dealing with frustration is the equivalent of working with fire. No matter how adept you are, you always maintain the risk of getting burned if you are not too careful of it. The best way I have dealt with frustration is to accept the fact that sometimes not everything is in my control and that all things take time. Let yourself control your frustration and not the other way around. Take up a hobby or anything that occupies your mind that brings joy.
OMAR MANSUR
Chief Strategy Officer,
Ground One Ventures
Frustration is a part of life. It allows you to test your abilities and how much you can handle. Sometimes it gets too much and if not harnessed properly can lead to a disaster. The best way I deal with it is I try not to let it affect me and think of it as a crosswalk waiting for the light to turn green. I occupy myself with things I enjoy, daydream a bit until I feel I am ready to tackle the problem. All within good time of course.
IRMA HASHIM
Relationship Manager, Government Link Companies (GLC) Unit,
Bank Islam Brunei Darussalam Berhad
When I look back, most times my frustration are when things did not go as planned or expected. This all goes about managing my expectation. On this note, I always remind myself to have an open mind, anticipate the unexpected and don’t be quick to judge when things doesn’t go my way. What I also learned along the years and picked up from the people around me, is to always self-reflect (muhasabah diri) on the root of cause of these frustrations. Does it come from something that we are in power to change/control or whether the root cause is just beyond our control? It’s easier when you have the power to change and overcome the frustration (even though at times it involves lowering one’s ego, when we are at fault). However, when the root cause is beyond our control, try to remember to recite the powerful dua shared by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), “In the name of Allah, with whose name nothing on earth or in heaven can cause harms and He is the All-Hearing the All-Knowing” [Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi]. Bi Khair (All will be good), In Sya Allah. With that, sit back, think positive (Husnuzon) and together we watch the world goes by.
SHARMEEN SULEMAN
Family Travel, Marketing & Consultancy
We all have frustrations, whether it’s not having enough hours in the day or having to work with colleagues for whom “integrity” holds no meaning. I personally deal with these frustrations by putting them into perspective first. By asking myself a simple question, “Why is this frustrating me so much?” Take for example, time. We can’t find time nor can we make it. It’s impossible. However, we can make small changes in our lives to maximise the utilisation of our time. How? Downloading a report to read later, whilst waiting for a meeting or to collect our children from school. Squeezing in an online course over a cup of coffee. Turning off notifications from our social media & setting a dedicated time to review during the day. In short, I deal with my frustrations by finding solutions for them.
